The magic thread that helps me practice mindfulness

I like to use a French folk tale to remind myself to enjoy life.

There’s an old French folk tale about a boy who is given a magic golden ball of thread. Whenever he pulls on the thread, time passes more quickly, and so he uses it to skip past the difficult and boring parts of his life. Except that, every time he uses the string to get past one difficult thing in his life, it seems like there’s always another problem that comes up, and so he ends up using the thread to skip through basically his entire life until he’s an old man. At the end, he gets the chance to live his whole life over again without the thread, and he’s happier that way. If you’ve seen the movie Click, it was based on this folk tale.

This folk tale teaches the importance of patience. One possible moral might be: If you skip past the hard parts, then you’ll miss key moments of growth and happiness. Or, as a certain Brandon Sanderson fantasy series would put it, journey before destination. I would like to nitpick at this moral; it’s true that skipping past the hard parts makes you lose out on growth, but missing so many of the happy moments was an unforced error that the character could have avoided if he was more careful. But either way, patience, growth, and enjoying the journey are all important parts of life.

I like to do a thing, every once in a while, where I ask myself “If I had a magic string right now, would I pull it?” And usually the answer is “No!” because I really like my life. When I do notice that I would want to pull the string (usually when I’m laying on the couch playing games on my phone), that’s a strong signal to me that I need to change something. Go for a walk, practice my juggling, do jumping jacks, read a poem, or do the dishes. Anything is better than living a life that I would prefer to skip past. (Sometimes, when I’m sick or trapped in a boring lecture, it isn’t really possible to enjoy it. But I can remind myself of the things I have that I’m grateful for, and that at least makes it less bad.)

Now, there are two different directions I want to go with this: mindfulness and chickens. Sadly, I’m not quite ready to write about the chickens, so they’ll go in a future post (here is a clue if you’re really curious), but let’s talk about mindfulness.

Mindfulness

Whenever I ask myself “would I pull the golden thread?”, it helps me realize how much I like living, and that helps me be more mindful and live in the present. In fact, I think it’s the most effective method I’ve found for being mindful. (This technique from Stoicism is a runner up though.) Being mindful helps me enjoy the happy moments more, which is one of my big goals in life.

Here are some thoughts I’ve had related to mindfulness:

• When reading a book I enjoy, I wonder if I should read it more slowly to make it last longer. Usually, when I’m engrossed in a novel, I want to read faster to find out what happens next. But if the goal is to get the most enjoyment out of the book, wouldn’t it make sense to find a way to enjoy it for a longer time? This is probably easiest with audiobooks; I usually listen to them at 1.2x speed, but now I wonder if I should slow it down on books I’m really into. Also, taking more breaks to think about the story and be excited about it instead of trying to finish it all in a single sitting is probably a good idea.

• Mindfulness is related to our perception of time. There’s the saying “time flies when you’re having fun,” which is true for shorter timescales (like hours), but the opposite is true for longer timescales (like months). If you do things that are fun, keep you engaged, and make good memories, then it makes your experiences feel longer and more substantial when you look back at them. Being mindful makes it feel like you have more time in your life.

• Here are four mindfulness-related concepts from other cultures that I like.

  • The Dutch have a concept called niksen, or doing nothing. It encourages people to embrace stillness and allow their minds to wander, which can lead to increased creativity and relaxation.

  • The Japanese have a practice called shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, which is simply being in a forest and paying attention to sights, sounds and smells. It is supposed to have a therapeutic effect.

  • In France, there is a big focus on mindful eating. They tend to eat more slowly, while engaging in conversation and appreciating the flavors.

  • One of the most important parts of Danish culture is hygge, or “a cozy, contented mood evoked by comfort and conviviality”. According to Wikipedia, this extends even to their prison system; inmates are permitted to wear their own clothes and make their cells as cozy as possible.

• Some people find meditation very helpful. Here and here are some instructions about how to meditate. I’ve never really got meditation to work for me, though I still try every once in a while. But, interestingly, whenever I hear or think the word “meditate”, it reminds me to relax my facial muscles (I tend to tense them up) and be more mindful of my surroundings, and that itself is a big benefit.

In the folk tale The Magic Thread, the character can skip past unpleasant periods of his life to get to the happy moments more quickly. This doesn’t turn out well for him. But, for me, thinking about how I don’t have a magic thread is a powerful tool I use to help me live a better life. If I feel like pulling the thread, then I take that as a sign to change something (and get off the couch!), because that’s no way to live. If changing something isn’t possible, then I remind myself of the things I’m grateful for. And if I don’t feel like pulling the thread, that thought reminds me how much I’m enjoying life, and it helps me be more mindful about what I’m doing and enjoy it even more. Either way, it’s a win.